It's Raining but the Sun is Out

I am nearly paralyzed with fear as I wait for the results of beta #2 at 14dpo a.k.a. 4w0d. I guess I didn't really think that all this crap we've been continually dealing with might actually work one of these months. And on top of that, to get to avoid all the shit Dr. HeeHee has lined up for us next cycle? I couldn't possibly be that lucky. Sometime soon, the cosmos will realize that I belong on the Fucked list and scoot me right back over there. Will it be a chemical and gone as quick as it came? Will I make it to 5 weeks before ~poof~ it disappears? Get to hear a heartbeat before the bottom falls out?

Deep breaths. Beta result at 3 p.m. CST. Until then, I'll be the one in the corner obsessively comparing the lines on four days worth of pee sticks.