One Year and One Day

My little BabyBug is now one year old. He is a rooty tootie happy little guy (as you can no doubt see from the pic at left) and the light of my life. He is doing well by all visible indications, with the exception of some developmental delays that will be the subject of another post (yes! another post! hold on to your hats!)

I have been so very emotional in the last few weeks, thinking about everything he and I went through getting him into the world. What little that I can remember of the last few days of my pregnancy is pain-tinged and shot through with fear and dread. It was so very awful, especially at the end, and I think I have not done a very good job of processing those emotions and dealing with them. It’s hard to know where to go with them, since it’s all bound up in the baby he is now, and weighing the decision to try to have another child, and all the struggles since then, and so on and so forth. Every time I hear of another woman faced with pre-eclampsia, I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and it throws me right back there, as if it just happened.

I am also just flat dreading the first anniversary of his heart surgery on February 3. His cardiology appointment is set for January 11 and I am feeling a little shaky about even setting foot in that hospital, even though he is doing fine as far as we know. We have learned the hard way that “doing fine” does not always hold true once they get the echo machine going and take a look inside.

In any case, I will update again after his appointment. I think I will also get back to posting more regularly—I need the outlet and, Lord knows, all of you need the diversion of my stellar writing gifts. Right?

Happy New Year everyone. May 2007 treat us better than the last.