So, now I'm on bedrest. Hopefully just for the short term to get the BP "under control." The primary issue at this point is that we have to get it down because it will only go up from here. And over the long term, hypertension does bad bad things to the wee babe. And maybe to me, but not right now and I don't really care about that.
I am feeling pretty down about my body's spectacularly consistent ability to screw me over. I mean really. In the last 6-7 years (not so coincidentally, since I started law school), I have had three fairly major surgeries, one of which required a month of in-bed recovery, anaphylactic shock to some unknown substance that very nearly killed me in the middle of O'Hare airport on a business trip, tachycardia, chronic sinusitis, fucking infertility drama, assorted lesser evils, and now this. I am a seemingly "healthy" normal woman in her early 30s.
No one has an explanation for what I consider to be a truly ridiculous number of health problems. The best I have come up with: a) I have some bizarre syndrome that will be eventually diagnosed and treated by a genius doctor like those you read about in Good Housekeeping; b) I have the fastest, most reliable stress-to-physical-manifestation-response modern medicine has ever seen; or c) my body just hates me. Maybe all three?
In any case, I never have been able to figure out what to do about this. I have gotten the slow down message and, in comparison to where I once was, I really have toned it down. Maybe not enough? Not in the right way? Facing east at the proper second just as the sun is 32 degrees from its zenith over Madagascar?
This has been an ongoing problem that seriously pisses me off, as you can see. But now my evil fucking body is letting this tiny baby down, the one it tried so hard to keep me from getting in the first place. If my traitorous body successfully destroys the placenta and starves this child. . .
I don't know how to finish that sentence.
I am feeling pretty down about my body's spectacularly consistent ability to screw me over. I mean really. In the last 6-7 years (not so coincidentally, since I started law school), I have had three fairly major surgeries, one of which required a month of in-bed recovery, anaphylactic shock to some unknown substance that very nearly killed me in the middle of O'Hare airport on a business trip, tachycardia, chronic sinusitis, fucking infertility drama, assorted lesser evils, and now this. I am a seemingly "healthy" normal woman in her early 30s.
No one has an explanation for what I consider to be a truly ridiculous number of health problems. The best I have come up with: a) I have some bizarre syndrome that will be eventually diagnosed and treated by a genius doctor like those you read about in Good Housekeeping; b) I have the fastest, most reliable stress-to-physical-manifestation-response modern medicine has ever seen; or c) my body just hates me. Maybe all three?
In any case, I never have been able to figure out what to do about this. I have gotten the slow down message and, in comparison to where I once was, I really have toned it down. Maybe not enough? Not in the right way? Facing east at the proper second just as the sun is 32 degrees from its zenith over Madagascar?
This has been an ongoing problem that seriously pisses me off, as you can see. But now my evil fucking body is letting this tiny baby down, the one it tried so hard to keep me from getting in the first place. If my traitorous body successfully destroys the placenta and starves this child. . .
I don't know how to finish that sentence.
7 comments:
oh sweetie. I am still thinking of you and sending low BP, strong baby vibes your direction.
Sorry to hear about the BP issue. If it's not one thing it's another. As Cass said, sending you low BP vibes. I hope the bed rest does the trick.
More low BP vibes from here. Is there anything that we can do to help with the bed rest boredom?
Oh, Muddy - I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this after everything else you've been through. Hoping the bed rest does the trick. Do you go in at the end of the week to check on things or are you getting your BP checked at home?
Ew, so sorry about the bed rest. Don't think about finishing that sentence - just try to get those thoughts out of your head. Do you meditate? Might help. Whoops! Forgot to put the assvice alert in - he he.
Sure wish things could go smoothly for you. Hope the bedrest does the trick and your BP gets where it needs to be. Thinking positive thoughts...
I'm so sorry to hear that things are difficult. Hoping that things resolve themselves with bedrest and that this is just a bump. Jen jenbuster@gmail.com
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