Friday, September 16

We Are Headed In the Wrong Direction

My BP started taking a turn for the worse yesterday, and despite all our best efforts, is now getting close to pre-medication, pre-bedrest levels again. In case you're wondering, that means it's basically always higher than 140/85, is often around 150/90, with spikes into the 165/95 range just to pep things up. Can you believe this shit?

I have now been sternly instructed to head directly for L&D if it gets over 160/mid-90s again. I feel pretty confident that the Traitorous Body (T.B.) that I inhabit will get us up there today, come hell or high water. No one would really explain what exactly would happen if I do to the hospital, although I have a sneaking suspicion that they will make me stay there.

You can probably guess that I am feeling increasingly discouraged as that stupid pressure inches up and up. I have learned in the last few days that a 24-hour pity party is not especially helpful to my overall mood or my marriage. I really want to throw something but that doesn't seem heart-rate-friendly.

Anyone have suggestions on a) a helpful frame of mind; and b) ways to distract myself from T.B.?

P.S. I don't have a laptop so internet surfing/blogging/etc. is fairly limited.

5 comments:

Bittermama said...

Oh Jesus, Muddy. I just can't believe this shit.

I'd say you need to send the dear husband out to rent a laptop, post haste. Then again, not having one might help you refrain from googling, which is not good for the heart rate.

As far as mindset... hmm... let's see if I can pull some major assvice out of my, er, hat. Here's the best I can do, it seems to help a tiny bit for me, but may not work for you. I don't know. Here goes:

I worry. A lot. And a lot of the time, I force myself to worry when I otherwise wouldn't. I think it's a pitiful attempt at a defense mechanism. Anyway, at times like these (and there were a couple of times like these during my pregnancy with G., though I was lucky that it didn't last long and was easily fixed by modern medicine), when I start to worry about something, I realize that I'm doing it because I think I need to think it through. For example, I might say to myself (in my head) "Ok, I need to think about what's going to happen if I go to L&D. Are they going to admit me to the hospital... etc., etc." Then I stop and think "No, I don't actually need to think about that. It's not something I can meaningfully prepare for practically or emotionally, so there's no reason to think about it. I'm going to be in willful denial about this and that's ok."

What I just wrote might be the least helpful thing in the world, but it got me through some tough times, so I thought I'd throw it out there.

If it were me, I'd have to come up with some sort of non-pregnancy, non-body related project to consume the time and my mental energy. It's hard to figure out what if you're stuck in bed and it has to be something you are really interested in, so I can't make helpful suggestions.

Anyway... that ought to be enough assvice for now!

Thinking about you and wishing the best for you.

And please go to the hospital if you need to. Do not think twice. Do not pass go.

PJ said...

I agree with Lindy about the hospital thing. If you think you need to go don't hesitate.

I've got no advice for you, just sending good thoughts your way.

Movies and bad daytime talk shows are a good way to pass the time. Laughing isn't bad, right?

Digging Out Slowly said...

Update: There was protein when they did a urine sample so they're worried about pre-eclampsia. I'm being admitted for observation overnight. Emails are welcome and appreciated! mudbugblogATgmailDOTcom

mamadaisy said...

I'm on my first week of full bedrest after 10 weeks of partial bedrest. It sucks. Sorry to welcome you aboard. Here is my assvice: positive outlook is helped by NOT doing medical research about all the bad things that can happen. WebMD just makes me freak out. Consuming lots of non-prego-related magazines, books, and movies helps, too. Personally, I like flowers by my bed if I'm going to have to stay in it all day. Good luck. I hope they get the BP under control and you're back home soon.

Bad Egg said...

Shoot, Mudbug, that's not what I wanted to read. I'm so sorry this isn't being as smooth a pregnancy as you'd like.

Hope the hospital stay is a short one and they get everything under control. I'll be thinking of you and hoping all is well with you and the baby. Keep us posted if you can.