No News Is....No News

Since we last spoke, things looked worse again with a bad protein result then better again with a new meds dosage and now we are once again back to worse. Look out for the whiplash! I am upset because my BP is heading back up again. We had 3 glorious days on 1500 mg aldomet, and it was really staying stable at around 140-145/80-85. Now it's been around 155/85 all day today and it won't go down. This is exactly what happened the last forty times we upped the dosage--it would be better for a few days and then start going up again to new highs.

The rollercoaster is really starting to get to me emotionally. I've really been trying to stay upbeat and positive but every time we get another "bad" result on a test or something it throws me for a loop and various terrible outcomes start feeling inevitable. And then I start berating myself for being a worrywart and for taking each individual clinical result as the end all, be all. It's just so hard to get perspective from the couch.

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

OB visit yesterday went well--BP was slightly down from previous visits and no protein in the dip test. We are redoing the 24 hour urine test--at home this time, thankfully. I was hoping that she would have a more visceral reaction to my incarcaration story, but thems the breaks, right? She upped my meds again and I'm still on bedrest. Lather, rinse, repeat.

It appears that things are quiet on the pre-eclampsia front and that is very very good. The upshot of all this, as best as I can understand, is that I am some level of high risk because of the hypertension and also more likely than your average bear to develop pre-eclampsia. So, we are going to keep on with the weekly visits and tests and such until the baby is born or something worse happens. Whichever comes first.

I have my first consult with the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist on my 32nd birthday--next Thursday, the 29th. I hear that I'll get a stellar ultrasound from him, so I'm kind of looking forward to it, baby pic junkie that I am.

Home Again

I'm finally sprung from the hospital after a 48 hour stay, but without the protein test results that I was originally incarcarated to produce. I won't bore you with all the details, but hospital lab staff incompetence + on call OB = a big fat waste of time. I am headed to my regular OB tomorrow morning to see what to do now--I suspect we will be repeating the joy because we need those protein numbers.

Thanks for the emails and well wishes. I'll update tomorrow.

We Are Headed In the Wrong Direction

My BP started taking a turn for the worse yesterday, and despite all our best efforts, is now getting close to pre-medication, pre-bedrest levels again. In case you're wondering, that means it's basically always higher than 140/85, is often around 150/90, with spikes into the 165/95 range just to pep things up. Can you believe this shit?

I have now been sternly instructed to head directly for L&D if it gets over 160/mid-90s again. I feel pretty confident that the Traitorous Body (T.B.) that I inhabit will get us up there today, come hell or high water. No one would really explain what exactly would happen if I do to the hospital, although I have a sneaking suspicion that they will make me stay there.

You can probably guess that I am feeling increasingly discouraged as that stupid pressure inches up and up. I have learned in the last few days that a 24-hour pity party is not especially helpful to my overall mood or my marriage. I really want to throw something but that doesn't seem heart-rate-friendly.

Anyone have suggestions on a) a helpful frame of mind; and b) ways to distract myself from T.B.?

P.S. I don't have a laptop so internet surfing/blogging/etc. is fairly limited.

And Wait, One More Thing...

So, now I'm on bedrest. Hopefully just for the short term to get the BP "under control." The primary issue at this point is that we have to get it down because it will only go up from here. And over the long term, hypertension does bad bad things to the wee babe. And maybe to me, but not right now and I don't really care about that.

I am feeling pretty down about my body's spectacularly consistent ability to screw me over. I mean really. In the last 6-7 years (not so coincidentally, since I started law school), I have had three fairly major surgeries, one of which required a month of in-bed recovery, anaphylactic shock to some unknown substance that very nearly killed me in the middle of O'Hare airport on a business trip, tachycardia, chronic sinusitis, fucking infertility drama, assorted lesser evils, and now this. I am a seemingly "healthy" normal woman in her early 30s.

No one has an explanation for what I consider to be a truly ridiculous number of health problems. The best I have come up with: a) I have some bizarre syndrome that will be eventually diagnosed and treated by a genius doctor like those you read about in Good Housekeeping; b) I have the fastest, most reliable stress-to-physical-manifestation-response modern medicine has ever seen; or c) my body just hates me. Maybe all three?

In any case, I never have been able to figure out what to do about this. I have gotten the slow down message and, in comparison to where I once was, I really have toned it down. Maybe not enough? Not in the right way? Facing east at the proper second just as the sun is 32 degrees from its zenith over Madagascar?

This has been an ongoing problem that seriously pisses me off, as you can see. But now my evil fucking body is letting this tiny baby down, the one it tried so hard to keep me from getting in the first place. If my traitorous body successfully destroys the placenta and starves this child. . .

I don't know how to finish that sentence.

A Long Overdue Update

1. I am now 19 weeks and 3 days and noticeably pregnant. Can you freaking believe that?

2. It's a boy! Here's the latest photo opportunity:

3. As of last week, I have suddenly developed high blood pressure and assorted related worries. My BP was 120/70 last month, and was in the high 150s/90s unmedicated, with spikes up into the 170s/100s. I started Aldomet Tuesday, and is now hovering at around 140/80s medicated. I think it needs to be lower still.

Pregnancy Induced Hypertension (PIH) is not a good thing, but it's much much better than pre-eclampsia, which is looming on the horizon. As I understand it, a diagnosis of pre-e is appropriate with consistent BP readings of 150/90, plus 300 uu* of protein in a 24 hour urine sample. My protein is currently 169.

I am freaked about this, despite the lowering of the BP with medication, because it's such a rollercoaster of unknown quantities. It could easily get much much better and never develop into pre-e and just cruise along until full term. It could also easily get much much worse and quickly, anytime between now and January 30. Many PIH and pre-e babies are significantly premature. But, we have no idea at all what will happen. Other than a higher level of medical vigilance from here on out.

No, apparently it never ends. And I was just starting to get kind of comfy in that pregnancy bubble too.

*unknown unit