I think this has become a medical update blog. Not very interesting, but I don't seem to have the energy for much else. I am not, despite my OB's dire predictions at my last appointment, on hospital bedrest yet. Hopefully, we can put that off at least another week. BP is still ridiculous but not as much as it was. (What an odd thing to type.) I dunno yet about this week's protein, but I am not expecting major changes either way.
BNN was not as stellar on yesterday's tests as he has been so far. The amniotic fluid level has dropped from 13 to 9 (it needs to be above 8) and the non-stress test was not as reassuring as they would have liked. We shall repeat Friday and see the peri for the full work up on Monday.
The financial fronts have also taken a steep downturn since we last spoke. I am now out of paid leave (which was my maternity leave) and likewise out of company-provided health insurance. We can continue the insurance, for a pretty hefty monthly price. I shouldn't say "can continue;"of course, we must continue it, no matter what the price.
I am just fucking exhausted. So tired I can't think straight anymore. K. has decided that we need to aim to make it to 34 weeks and I just can't even begin to contemplate another 4 weeks of this. Honestly. Even the thought makes me want to sob hysterically. I can barely deal with the idea of 2 more weeks (which is what the OB is going for). 32 weeks will be 12 weeks of bedrest. 84 days of it. (See--I can't even write a complete sentence without my train of thought breaking down!)
I am trying to come up with a snappy closer here but I've got nothing. Sorry.
Tuesday, November 22
Friday, November 11
Crappity Crap Crap
I don't know anymore what to tell you about what's going on. Some days it seems like things are a little better, others it seems like we're on a fast train to Crapville. Today I feel more like the Mayor of Crapville, so please take all this with a grain of salt.
Since we last spoke, the BP drama has continued, spiking up into crazy levels on Monday that ended up earning me a hospital stay due to a "severe hypertensive event." When I was hitting pressures over 170/110 for several hours, I thought it was all over. But, thank God, they got it to come down again and we're trying to maintain on just shy the max dose of BP med #2. BNN remains his sassy self in there, apparently none the worse for wear. Protein is still holding pretty steady at "mild" levels and scary bloodwork is still all ok. I have managed to pick up bronchitis somewhere--isn't that a big cosmic joke?
On the non-medical front, my friends threw me a wonderful shower this past weekend.* I got to see many people that I haven't seen in months and everyone was incredibly generous with their gifts and friendship. Lurvely and such a nice highlight for me.
Meanwhile, I am really starting to feel a sense of foreboding, like the Crap Train is gathering steam. I don't know quite what to attribute this to, since by all objective levels (except the BP), things are holding fairly steady. Bronchitis? Fatigue? Depression? I'm sure it must be true psychic abilities, right? Ha. In any case, I am hoping that once I feel a little better and can breathe again, the feeling of doom will also subside. At least for a few more weeks.
For those of you keeping score, BNN still does not have a name, despite all my efforts. I found it very upsetting to have hospital nurses refer to him as "Baby X" while they checked his heartbeat. But he does have two rounds of steroid shots coursing through his little lungs and he's kicking around like crazy. 29 weeks Monday.
*Yes, I know the timing of the shower vs. the hospitalization is a bit too close to be entirely coincidence. I am still glad I went.
Since we last spoke, the BP drama has continued, spiking up into crazy levels on Monday that ended up earning me a hospital stay due to a "severe hypertensive event." When I was hitting pressures over 170/110 for several hours, I thought it was all over. But, thank God, they got it to come down again and we're trying to maintain on just shy the max dose of BP med #2. BNN remains his sassy self in there, apparently none the worse for wear. Protein is still holding pretty steady at "mild" levels and scary bloodwork is still all ok. I have managed to pick up bronchitis somewhere--isn't that a big cosmic joke?
On the non-medical front, my friends threw me a wonderful shower this past weekend.* I got to see many people that I haven't seen in months and everyone was incredibly generous with their gifts and friendship. Lurvely and such a nice highlight for me.
Meanwhile, I am really starting to feel a sense of foreboding, like the Crap Train is gathering steam. I don't know quite what to attribute this to, since by all objective levels (except the BP), things are holding fairly steady. Bronchitis? Fatigue? Depression? I'm sure it must be true psychic abilities, right? Ha. In any case, I am hoping that once I feel a little better and can breathe again, the feeling of doom will also subside. At least for a few more weeks.
For those of you keeping score, BNN still does not have a name, despite all my efforts. I found it very upsetting to have hospital nurses refer to him as "Baby X" while they checked his heartbeat. But he does have two rounds of steroid shots coursing through his little lungs and he's kicking around like crazy. 29 weeks Monday.
*Yes, I know the timing of the shower vs. the hospitalization is a bit too close to be entirely coincidence. I am still glad I went.
Wednesday, November 2
Dragging A*% Into the Third Trimester
Seriously. Today I am 27 weeks, 2 days and (at least in some books) I have now begun the third trimester. I am relieved and a little surprised and getting so very very tired. I am beginning to realize that all of these doctor visits and shots and blood draws and Jug O' Pee tests and worry and drama really take a lot out of you. Ten more weeks--if we can physically make it that far--seems mentally impossible right now. But I will certainly take it if I can get it.
As far as the protein goes, it's just been a rollercoaster. Every week is up and down a little--there hasn't been a sustained trend either way so far. It's still in mild pre-eclampsia range (at least for right now). It's frustrating because when it goes down a little, all the medical professionals get all excited and act like I'm magically fine. Then it goes back up a little and it's a STAT emergency!! Get back in the office right now!!
If you were wondering, I am most certainly not complaining about being closely monitored. After nearly 8 weeks, I am just getting tired. Did I mention that I'm tired?
What else? Oh, still on bedrest. Always and forever. Blood pressure is mind numbingly uncooperative, so I'm still on vast quantities of medication. They have lately been phasing out the Aldomet in favor of more "modern" medications with theoretically fewer side effects; this has been of mixed success in my humble opinion. Bloodwork is still ok, which is a very very good thing. I got a steroid injection today to mature Baby No Name's lungs faster, "just in case." If that should ever come up for you, be forewarned: it hurts.
On the good side, K. and I are edging ever closer to an actual name choice. I can't tell you for fear of jinxing, but I'm hopeful that BNN will have a name sometime in 2005.
I had better drag myself back to the couch. As always, thank you thank you thank you for the comments and emails--both are forwarded to my Blackberry and are welcome little nuggets to spice up my days. I especially appreciate the techy advice about posting from the B-berry, but haven't worked up the energy to figure that out quite yet.
As far as the protein goes, it's just been a rollercoaster. Every week is up and down a little--there hasn't been a sustained trend either way so far. It's still in mild pre-eclampsia range (at least for right now). It's frustrating because when it goes down a little, all the medical professionals get all excited and act like I'm magically fine. Then it goes back up a little and it's a STAT emergency!! Get back in the office right now!!
If you were wondering, I am most certainly not complaining about being closely monitored. After nearly 8 weeks, I am just getting tired. Did I mention that I'm tired?
What else? Oh, still on bedrest. Always and forever. Blood pressure is mind numbingly uncooperative, so I'm still on vast quantities of medication. They have lately been phasing out the Aldomet in favor of more "modern" medications with theoretically fewer side effects; this has been of mixed success in my humble opinion. Bloodwork is still ok, which is a very very good thing. I got a steroid injection today to mature Baby No Name's lungs faster, "just in case." If that should ever come up for you, be forewarned: it hurts.
On the good side, K. and I are edging ever closer to an actual name choice. I can't tell you for fear of jinxing, but I'm hopeful that BNN will have a name sometime in 2005.
I had better drag myself back to the couch. As always, thank you thank you thank you for the comments and emails--both are forwarded to my Blackberry and are welcome little nuggets to spice up my days. I especially appreciate the techy advice about posting from the B-berry, but haven't worked up the energy to figure that out quite yet.
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